Five Things No One Tells You About Labor & Delivery

If you're like me when you encounter something new you try to obtain as much information on it as possible so you can be prepared. While knowing all there is to know may freak some people out, it comforts me to know that what I'm experiencing is normal and natural. That said, I was more than annoyed to find out that a lot of things that NO ONE spoke about happened to me and lots of other women. So instead of keeping these to myself, I've decided to share my information with you. 

DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor. This is not medical advice. I am simply sharing my experience and what I've gleaned to be normal from conversation with other mothers.

1. You may not realize that your contractions have started

My contractions started in my sleep. They initially felt like a stomach cramp and they were a few days before my due date. They didn't wake me up but it wasn't until I used the bathroom and saw the beginnings of my plug did I realize that they weren't random cramps but actually contractions.

2.  Contractions Can Start and Stop for Days

In the days before I delivered I was admitted to the hospital twice. My contractions had started and progressed normally and then completely stopped all of a sudden. I was prepped for labour and everything and then sent home. Afterwards I was told it's a pretty common thing. We found using an App made it easier to time them.

3. The Pain May Actually Be Bearable. The Duration May Not

I say this tongue in cheek. Everyone's threshold is different so bearable is extremely relative. That said if you are having your first baby, expect your contraction to last 6-8 hours - at least that's what I read in a book. My experience was that they lasted for about 36 hours - my mother had a similar experience with her first child so I half-expected the long wait. What I didn't expect was that when it came time to push that I would be so exhausted!

4. Your Lady-Princess Gets A LOT of Visitors 

If you're taking a long time to dilate pretty much everyone is going to want to check you every few minutes. And by check I mean the finger test -the nurses, the mid-wives, the doctor. 

Yup... I'll just leave that here

5. You May Not Be 100%...For a Long Time or You May Snap Back Right Away

I was surprised to find out that you don't just have your baby and go home in a couple hours. In fact, most persons overnight for observation purposes. Your body goes through a ridiculous amount of stress in the birthing process. Your blood pressure, your organs, your heart all need to be stabilized before you can even think of standing up. Your hormones can go all over the place and even if you didn't do a C-section you may have to be on bed-rest for a couple of days.
This is in addition to your nether regions healing. It's very important for you to be comfortable and happy with the after-care you and your baby are to receive after the birth because you will want gentle, kind, patient persons who will answer all your questions without making you feel silly.
You may not be able to sit up, you may not be able to lift your legs, you may not be able to use the bathroom on your own. It's very important to be patient with your body as it recovers. Put things in place so you can focus on your new babe and yourself.
If you do snap back right away enjoy the new journey!

*til lata
Jane

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Keeping Your Lady Princess Pretty ( or Grooming Your Bikini Area )

Now this is a pretty delicate topic -  literally and figuratively but we are all women here and I'm pretty sure we can handle it. I am aware that some persons are uncomfortable with a certain 'v' word and since I don't want to get tagged for inappropriate content let's call it 'lady princess' for the sake of this post. All agreed? Fantastic.

From time to time, we explore different ways on how to keep our bikini area groomed. Some women like theirs completely naked, others take to landing strips or other styles, some even bejewel and dye their lady princesses while others are content with a trim from time to time.

What is important though is to ensure that you keep the area clean and healthy and since you’re gonna be looking at it at least once a day, attractive. I encourage all women to visit a gynaecologist to ensure that you get a pap smear done, your vaginal health is optimum and if necessary to get a HPV vaccine.

That said, this post is not meant to be a lecture on vaginal health since I am NOT a doctor but simply some suggestions on how to keep it looking pretty.

First things first, get yourself checked out and speak to your doctor about any potential allergies or infections etc etc. Once you are in the clear, you want to remind yourself of the three prongs to an attractive lady princess:

1. 1.       Prep
2. 2.       Groom
3. 3.       Maintain

Side note: Now, any products you use should be as natural as possible or made specifically for feminine use. And you always always want to remember that you do not insert anything up there. If you get nervous then you can always clear it with your doctor first or enjoy your vegetation in its natural state.

Prep

In the same way that you want to exfoliate away dry skin when shaving your legs you may want to gently exfoliate the skin on your bikini area. This is especially important if you are a shaver. Before you cringe at the idea of granules getting stuck inside your lady princesses, the type exfoliation I am talking about here is with a wash cloth or a rag. So don’t panic okay?

You want to wash the area and pat it dry gently. Then dampen a wash cloth  and add a teeny bit of soap and rub the entire area gently in small circles. Remember the area needs to be dry and the washcloth wet for proper exfoliation to occur. Now, this is your lady princess, don’t be rough with her or she’ll never forgive you.  If you are going for a wax or using an epilator, you can use warm water to help open up the pores.

Groom

You can wax, shave, epilate or use hair removal creams. This is a 'to each her own' decision and you can try out options to see what suits you best. There are pros and cons to every option. What you need to keep in mind is what suits your needs. 

Also you may want to think about what is your growth cycle and how often do you need to groom yourself? Are you annoyed by the idea of having to shave twice a week to keep the area hair free? Try waxing or chemical hair removers. Want your hair to stop growing back eventually? Then maybe an epilator is for you. Like the convenience of doing it yourself and changing it up all the time? Then find the right razor and get your stroke on.

But remember there isn't only one way so instead of suffering through give something else a try. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Maintain

This is what makes the difference. Hate that awful prickly feeling of the stubble growing back? The trick to deal with this is to moisturize. 

I know right? Moisturize your lady princess? Who does that?! But think about it. If you groom that area regularly then it is bound to affect the texture of the skin there. So to keep the area soft and smooth, to reduce the occurrence of ingrown hairs try to apply a teeny amount of all natural vitamin e, olive or coconut oil to the area making sure not to insert it into your actual lady princess.

You can apply this right after grooming to help with soothing as well. You can decide how often you need to do this, whether once per week or every other day. You can always consult your doctor if you are nervous about this being safe and you can use feminine products on the market made for this purpose.

So that's it ladies. Be kind to your lady princess and she will be kind to you.

 I hope this post was helpful and as always, if you have any questions you can leave them below, or shoot me an email. 

Till later,

**Jane

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Review: Maybelline Dream Fresh BB Cream

BB creams - supposedly the perfect compromise between skin care and makeup, there has been a big buzz about them this summer. They promise fresh faced makeup that provides moisture and sun protection while visibly blurring imperfections.   

Now, I am very skeptical about anything that promises to be a multi-tasker, and even more skeptical about any product that promises not to be cakey in this Caribbean heat BUT after seeing all the raves in the Youtube community I decided to do some of my own research. A few of the complaints were that the cream didn't provide full coverage and that they didn't have lasting power and I must admit that this seems to be true - at least for the more affordable ones. So if you are looking for something that works as well as your foundation, a BB cream is not your answer. That said if you want something that feels like you're wearing nothing but still evens out your skin tone and moisturizes, then a BB cream should be in your collection. 

Let's get into the review shall we?

Packaging:

 

 The packaging borders on very simple. It comes in a flatter squeeze tube that's more ergonomic to getting all the product out. It's 1.0 Fl oz which is plenty for at least six weeks worth. The packaging is pretty sturdy, I've hunked it around in my bag, left it my car and dropped it dozens of time and it hasn't exploded on me or curdled up on the inside. In Jamaican heat I consider that to be an excellent feat. It's not super pretty but the light coloured packaging makes it easy to spot in your makeup bag. I got it in 'Deep'.

Pricing:
I picked this up for around $800 at Discount Pharmacy in Manor Park but I have also seen this for as high as $1300. As a replacement for a foundation though I would consider this pretty affordable. Thanks to the bff for spotting this and letting me know.

Application:
Again, this is not full coverage, the package even describes it as a 'sheer tint'. When applying you need to shake the product up (with the lid on) really well and then squeeze a pearl sized amount onto clean fingers and apply as you would your moisturizer. Be sure to blend with your fingers along your hairline and jaw line because once it sets it stays pretty well put. The product is the perfect middle line between runny and goopy and blends pretty much like a dream (ha-ha dream fresh!) . Though it is sheer it is pretty buildable too so that if you want more coverage in one area you can always reapply another layer without worrying that it looks too cake-y.

Durability:
This can last all day for sure if you spend most of your time indoors. If you are out in the sun I would say max 6 hours before it starts to fade. If you want it to last longer use gel moisturizer instead of cream or skip it completely. It can get a little glow-y throughout the day but I don't mind a glow-y look. If you're on the oilier side or if you like the matte look then dusting some powder over it will solve the problem. I've noticed that if I use my MAC MSF natural over this I can make this last for almost ten hours.

Results
This thankfully did not break me out and I really liked that I didn't have to do that extra step of applying sunscreen. It evened out my complexion pretty well and the colour wasn't too red or orange. It doesn't have any distinct smell that pissed me off throughout the day and it literally felt like I wasn't wearing anything on my face. All in all, I loved it and I will be repurchasing this as soon as it runs out. 

Have you tried this yet? What did you think of it?

Comments give me a happy!

Till later,
**Jane

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Wise-up: Workplace Intimidation

Hey All,

A friend asked me to speak about an experience that is all too common for young women (and perhaps young men) when they enter the workplace. Hopefully, this can be of some help to someone out there, even if it just serves to open your eyes.

When I was younger, ambition, curiosity and boredom pushed me to get into the workplace as early as possible especially during those long summers when Camp hadn't started yet and tv was growing repetitive.

I  had helped out doing administrative work at the offices of my parents and some of their friends so I felt that it was time that I explore new territory. I enrolled in a programme that placed you in organizations all over for summer work. I went through the training with flying colours and got placed at the top of the list. This meant that I was going to get picked by the organizations that dealt with sensitive, detailed work in a fast-paced environment. I was ELATED.

The first two weeks went well and I worked hard to get my tasks done on time, to network and generally endear myself to persons there. I wanted to be memorable, not just a pass-through. At the end of the second week I was 'promoted' to supervise the other girls that had come through the programme with me and I even made a suggestion to change something so that it would work more efficiently and was put in charge of implementing it.

I was coasting at the top...and getting attention for it. My supervisors changed daily and after a while, they began to feel like I could cope without having to report to someone. At the end of each day I would check the log of each of the summer workers and make sure we had completed all our tasks. 

On one of these days, I felt someone's presence over my shoulder. It was one of the male supervisors and he winked at me when I looked up. Never one to feel politeness should override propriety I asked him if there was something I could help him with. His response was to tell me that if I kept sticking my tongue out of my mouth the way I was I could most definitely help him. (You can tell how fully it creeped me out because I can still hear him saying it to me). I visibly bristled and responded something along the lines of not being able to help him with that. He laughed and walked away.

I chalked it down to him wanting to make his move and get it over with but I still had my guard up. A day or two later he pushed it further. It was the end of the day and I was leaning against a desk chatting with my co-workers. I was wearing a white wool pencil skirt and because I was leaning backwards there was a space between the skirt and the bottom of my knees. (Ladies you know what I mean). He took a seat next to the girl that was standing on my left and proceeded to 'compliment' us on our outfits that day. Nothing too out there. Until he thought it was appropriate to demonstrate his fondness for my skirt by putting his fingers underneath the space. I immediately slapped his hand away. It was instinctive. It didn't register to me that I had hit him until I saw the whole room staring at me. I didn't apologize though, I simply told him that he was a man and I was a girl and he should not touch me. 

I think I embarrassed him because he kept his distance. That is, until he cornered me in a back room locking the door behind him. He proceeded to tell me that he knew I thought I was better than him and smarter than him and that I should leave his department the way I found it. I don't know what would have happened next and I am glad that I didn't have to find out. I wasn't alone and I thank God for that. My co-worker had been lying down behind a shelf resting (she would later find out that she was pregnant) and she came over and asked him why the *insert badword here* he had locked the door. He skittered out of there pretty quickly and I told my other (female) supervisor about what happened. She laughed it off and told me that he was a bit of a flirt but all the workers were moved to another area the next day. He still works there though...

I remember feeling more confused than afraid. That a big man, who had been in his job for almost ten years would feel threatened by me - a squeaky teenager who would enthusiastically file because she thought it was genuinely fun. As I grew older it became more and more clear to me that it was workplace intimidation. That persons, very commonly feel threatened by new people and suggestions for improvement that fresh minds can make.

I took that with a grain of salt and I have learned to rein in that burning desire to contribute until I can find a way to include the persons that are already there but still make my contribution. What that man did was so wrong on so many levels. But I can't change him, and I can't change the millions out there like him. What I can change is myself and my approach. When someone tries to intimidate you its because they feel intimidated themselves. In the workplace, ignoring this fact can make life so much harder for you. Why not create ways to include persons around you to reassure them that you aren't there to step on them?

If that doesn't work - and this WILL happen - you need to watch your back. Clear your browser history, put a password on your computer, un-check the 'save password' box and don't divulge personal information or leave your valuables around. If it's a man you're dealing with, don't be left alone with him, lock a door behind you or cotch it open. Always let someone know where you are going and make friends with the security guards. And please, please let someone know. It can be as simple as 'Does John make you feel uncomfortable too?'. This alone can alert someone.

The workplace is somewhere that is out of your control. You can wise-up about it by being prepared to deal with the many googly balls it sends your way.

Do you have any stories to share? Have you ever experienced workplace intimidation? Have you ever intimidated someone in the workplace? Leave a comment and let me know.

Till later,
Jane

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Female Money - Moolah Talk for the Ladies

One of the very first differences between men and women that I recognized as a child when my parents would get together with their friends is that women would take about their lives and the men would talk about politics and money and business. And it seemed to stand fast as a rule of thumb no matter what part of Jamaica we were living in at the time.


As a newlywed wife, and a young Attorney I have come to the realization that I have a whole lot to learn about money, and I have a short time to learn it in. I am not going to bore you by complaining about the economy and so forth but I feel like it's important to share what I have learnt about money and my attitude towards it and what has been working for me, especially as a woman.

I need a legitimate, tangible reason to save and a deadline for it: Saving for a 'rainy day' didn't mean squat to me. Tell me when that rainy day is coming and how much it's gonna cost me and I'll save for it. Investments I cannot go online and watch or call in and check on? No sah! I want to see my money doing what you say it's doing! This attitude meant that my savings accounts were low and my spending was high. Bad formula for grown-up spending.

When I got my first permanent job, I was pounced on by agents from several institutions telling me about ways to put my money away for the future and taking care of my parents and future children and marriage and I made some mistakes by choosing options that didn't satisfy me but through it I learned what did work and why. This is the guide I now use to inform me how I want to save and invest and hopefully, it will be of some use to you:

1. Lie to yourself - as much as I hate to admit it, you do have to put money away and not touch it at all for the 'future' however darn elusive that may sound. Get a pension - and get it on a standing order so that it comes out before you notice it and then lie to your self that your pay check is actually the amount remaining. Make sure that it's something you can track though or else you'll feel like its a waste.
2. Wishlist it - set a spending ceiling for yourself for each day/week/month depending on how often you find yourself tempted - if you see something you want that is above that ceiling then put it on your wishlist. I have a wishlist on my phone and whenever I see something I want I type it in and leave it. Do not take a picture of it though, you don't wanna trick yourself into liking it more than you do. At the end of the week/month/year look at the wishlist and prioritize and only get one or two things
3. Keep it tight - Have your spending account separate from the account your salary goes into. Look at your mandatory expenses for the month and transfer that into your spending account with a little to spare. In an emergency you can always run to the ATM or use a credit card. And emergencies are just that - few and far between and not apart of everyday, normal life so don't panic, k?
4. Easy is fun - short term goals are easy. Break up long term goals into short term goals so they are easier to meet. For example if you want to save $100,000 in a year, then go for 2 or 3 extreme saving periods and take breaks in between. The breaks will allow you to relax and enjoy life and the extreme/super time will not seem so torturous because they will be for a short time
5. Women do Know best : women generally are not risk takers and are very observant. This should not stop us from going in on investments. Look at your options  and choose a group of low-risk investments and investigate them and track their progress. Interested in stocks? Look at the Junior Stock Exchange Market; interested in bonds? Look at some Government Bonds. Don't want anything that you have to watch for? Saving on an insurance policy short term is a good idea as well. My rule of thumb is I do not invest any amount that I don't have to spare after I save and pay for mandatory expenses and tithe. And if you invest and make a profit, pull out your principal and invest the profit only. If you are a chicken like me or are unsure of the viability, only re-invest a third of the the profit and tuck away the 2/3rds you made. And for heaven's sake stay away from investments that aren't done with regulated financial institutions. 

I would say you need a budget but those things depress me and when I'm depressed i spend more. So I'm gonna say try it out and see how it makes you feel, and if it works for you more power to you!

If you have any questions at all, leave a comment and I will respond. I will be doing a post on how I saved good money towards my wedding over on my other blog that I will be introducing to you guys soon. When the post goes up I will link it here.

In the meantime. here are some sites I enjoy for smart money advice - 

www.money.msn.com

www.financiallysmart.org

Till later,

Jane

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How To Stay Groomed - The Cheap, Easy Way

Worldwide, women spend most of their money and time keeping themselves groomed. The problem is however that though we spend hours and dollars getting ourselves to look how we want to look, we spend way more hours undoing it- by neglecting the upkeep necessary. I fully fully support beauty professionals but there are too many easy, cheap ways for us to take care of ourselves for me to keep it quiet. Personally, I'd rather spend money on something I cant actually do for myself, like a massage. (Wouldnt it be lovely if that 3-5k you spend at the hairdresser be reassigned to something like a full body massage?).


There are two main ways you can cut your grooming bill down.
 1. Maintaining yourself at your best in between appointments
Are you that client who is always getting the full package all the time because you don't do anything to maintain yourself in between appointments? If you take easy steps to care yourself between appointments it will cut down the time you spend and the money you spend. It sounds like work but I promise, its easy.

Hair:

• Sleep on a satin pillowcase
• Wrap or set or braid your hair before you go to bed
• Tie your hair up with a soft fabric like satin or silk
• Deep Condition your hair
• Use products with protein
• Lay off the heat. Avoid using curlers, blowdryers, straighteners. If you absolutely have to then use a heat protectant

Nails:

• Before bed rub a moisturizing oil, vaseline or thick cream into your cuticles
• Paint clear nailpolish or a top coat over your manicure every other day to make it last
• Wear gloves when doing chores 
• Dont pick or bite your nails
• When your polish chips remove it and replace it with a light shimmery or pearlescent nailpolish. Mistakes are harder to see wth light shimmery colours
• Clip hangnails as soon as you can

Skin:

• Wash and moisturize your face twice a day every day
• Use witch hazel as a cheap toner and astringent to keep acne at bay
• Always remove all your makeup before going to sleep
• Exfoliate once a week- use a gentle scrub for your face.  A baby toothbrush used very gently with regular cleanser is an alternative for a pre-packaged scrub. For a body scrub, use sea salt or brown sugar and mix with body wash, oil or conditioner and scrub down.
• Drink lotsa lotsa lotsa water and get sleep! 

2.Do-it-yourself
Almost everything you pay for you can do yourself. It really just takes the right tools, products and practice. I do not recommend doing chemical treatments yourself unless you really really know what you're doing. Everything else you can do yourself.

Start by taking note of what you like specifically about your appointments then ask the three magic questions when you go in- what, how, and when. What is the product being used and the treatment being applied, how is it done and how is it applied, when/how frequently it should be used/ Once you are armed with the information then go out and buy the products (they should be cheaper than paying for your appointment over time, or else dont bother lol). Get advice from the store and check reviews online.

The how-to is easily learned from youtube. If you practice you can teach yourself anything from youtube videos. Later on I'll post videos of basic how-tos. The frequency will be a combination of the answers your consultant gives you, instructions from the products and how you respond to it.

I will be exploring this further with blog posts/videos to come on: how to wash, treat and set your hair; how to revive dry, damaged hair; diy masks; easy fail-proof skincare; how to manicures and nail art; and eyebrow grooming.

The biggest thing is to trust yourself. Once you do that and you open yourself up to learning it will be fun and easy.

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